Alligators in B-Flat
Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida

Jeff Klinkenberg

Foreword by Raymond Arsenault and Gary Mormino, Series Editors

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"Jeff Klinkenberg is the ghost orchid of Florida nonfiction; an observer who prefers swamps and shadows to sunshine banalities; a prose writer of distinction whose roots seek out, then elegantly entwine, that which is fine and funny, outrageous and rare about our beloved state. Alligators in B-Flat is a virtuoso performance, and proves, once again, that Klinkenberg is among our finest writers."--Randy Wayne White

"You read this fine writer and you stare with him into the canals for the dark shape of a manatee, and listen for rumors of alligators, and stand over the grave of a green snake in the yard, in mourning. This is a writer who has never forgotten any of the mystery of this mysterious place, who never allowed his paradise to be paved over in concrete, at least inside his heart, and I could read him all day."--Rick Bragg

"If Jeff Klinkenberg isn’t careful, he might give journalism a good name."--Carl Hiaasen


Florida is a civilized place with eighteen million residents, fine universities, art museums, world-class restaurants, and other modern amenities. It is also home to panthers, bears, rattlesnakes, and alligators, just waiting to take a bite out of the unprepared.

With a keen eye for detail and a lyrical style, Jeff Klinkenberg sets his sights on the contradictions that make up the Sunshine State. No one else would think to engage a professional symphony orchestra tuba player to find out whether bull gators will thunderously bellow back at a low B-flat during mating season (they do, but only to that pitch). From fishing camps and country stores to museums and libraries, Klinkenberg is forever unearthing the magic that makes Florida a place worth celebrating.

Jeff Klinkenberg wrote for the Tampa Bay Times from 1977 to 2014. He is the winner of the Florida Humanities Council 2018 Florida Lifetime Achievement Award for Writing; a two-time winner of the Paul Hansell Distinguished Journalism Award, the highest honor given by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors; and a recipient of a 2018 Florida Folk Heritage Award. He is the author of Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida; Pilgrim in the Land of Alligators: More Stories about Real Florida; and Seasons of Real Florida.

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"Klinkenberg writes of a culture that like some of his animals is endangered."
--Florida Times-Union

"With a nostalgia for Florida’s past and a hope for its future, Klinkenberg’s deep affection for this state is palpable on every page."
--InkWood Books

"Serves up Florida hilariously."
--Tallahassee Writers Association

"Klinkenberg's deep love for Florida - natural Florida and everyone who knew it before there were so many people- is obvious."
--The Miami Herald

"Floridians are a charming, talented breed, and this humorous, honest, and often touching collection of tales exhibits the melting pot of traditions and lifestyles from a journalist’s eye."
--Publishers Weekly

"Hilarious and absorbing stories."
--The MidWest Book Review

"Keeps the spirit of Real Florida alive."
--Authentic Florida (blog)

“Introduces the reader to some of the most interesting and off-kilter people between the Panhandle and Key West.”
--Apalachicola Times

"Captures feral, real Florida"
--Tampa Bay Times

An evocative collection.
--Creative Loafing Tampa

Hilarity ensues.
--Tallahassee Democrat

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